What is respect?
Respect is being tolerant of another person, no matter who or what they are. It's about looking beyond what is in front of you to see the real person behind the facade.
There are many fans, in all different forms. Some enjoy cosplaying their favourite characters, some show their love in artwork, and some enjoy writing fanfiction about their favourite shows. There is no right or wrong way to be a fan, as long as it is respectful and doesn't cause harm.
Sadly, fangirls and some fanboys do not adhere to this golden rule.
A lot of fans are bullied and shamed because they don't fit in. Others are ostracized because they are the object of envy due to being able to meet their favourite actor or be able to attend a sold out, limited time event.
In my experiences as an admin and a former member of the fandom, I have seen a lot of instances firsthand where one fan is ganged up on by a group. I can also attest that I have been a victim of such behaviour as well.
Out of everyone in the fan pages I was a part of, I was the highest educated and boasted a deep understanding and love for Shakespeare. While some fans thought that it made me a great admin, the rest all stuck up their noses at me because they honestly thought that I was some sort of threat or some girl who would snatch up Tom Hiddleston someday.
Then, there was the International Cumberbatch Club. Right now, it has developed a bad reputation for their exclusiveness, their desire to make money on fan memberships and their shameless bullying. I will clarify that Benedict himself will never endorse such a group because people should not have to pay money to be a fan.
I was a member of the group, as I enjoy meeting new people who share my interests. I soon realized that it was a terrible idea. I immediately didn't fit in and was the object of ridicule. "Senior" members constantly treated me like I was a dumb, obsessed teenager and I felt disrespected and more alone than before. (News flash...I just turned 30)
There was also a situation going on involving a former admin, who was ostracized and humiliated because one older member simply didn't like her due to her age. Not only was this girl mentioned and ridiculed, she was also publically humiliated when the other members saved the transcripts of their conversations with her and posted them directly onto Facebook for the world to see.
When their spinoff groups formed, (Reading with Benedict Cumberbatch, Music with Benedict Cumberbatch, Where in the world is Benedict Cumberbatch?) I began to realize that they were just disrespectful fangirls who thought Benedict would be interested in them because they professed to have the same interests as him.
All of the groups were also full of nepotism. You could only become an admin if you were friends with the clique. It didn't matter if you were a great contributor or had something to make the group even better...if you weren't friends with the popular crowd, you were ignored.
By this time, I had enough of their childish and disrespectful behaviour and abandoned all of the groups related to the International Cumberbatch Club.
I don't profess to enjoy everything that Benedict himself enjoys, however, I do have a LOT in common with him. But I am not going to ridicule other fans and try to be superior because of that fact.
Just because someone doesn't see eye to eye with someone else doesn't give them the right to ostracize and publicly humiliate others. Fan diversity is what makes us all unique and interesting. Fans should be allowed to be a fan on their own terms. They shouldn't have to worry about what others think.
So what if a lucky girl met Benedict and got to talk to him? Is that any reason to make fun of her? Or if an admin has a justified reason to delete something off the page, the one who takes offense should not take the liberty in causing harm to the other admin.
What's missing from fandoms is respect. It's like high school all over again...and it's not even the teenage fans that are guilty of the disrespect. There are grown women in their 30s and 40s who have the worst attitudes and spread the disrespect around.
Sadly, the International Cumberbatch Club was also created and run by women in their 30s. What kind of example are they setting for the younger fans? As the elders, we should be promoting the respect of others, not the disrespect.
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